Stories Rattling Around in My Mind: Becoming a Grandpa

As a parent, there were two things that I resolved not to do to my adult children. The first was never to follow them around with a marriage license urging them to get married and the second was not to bug them afterwards about having children so that I could have a grandchild. Having witnessed the result of parents doing so, the resentment it causes is never worth it. I figure, that when they are ready to make those important decisions they might ask for advice but still make those decisions without any pressure from me. Well, one of my children married but the other has not yet and in due course, I became a grandpa.

Without giving much thought as to when I would become a grandpa, I did wonder what kind of a grandfather I would be largely based upon my childhood experience. My Dad's father I never knew existed until the day he showed up at our door to attend my Father's fifthieth birthday party. Grandpa turned out to be a tiny, frail, old man already suffering from the debilitating effects of dementia. His family never mentioned him the reason being that he had deserted them years earlier leaving them in difficult circumstances. All that I remember him saying that night was, "It is so good to be here!" My other Grandpa, my Mother's father, I knew to be a bitter person largely due to some terrible tragedies he had experienced in life. That may explain but not excuse the mean streak in him that caused him to play tricks on his grandchildren and then laugh at their childish gullibility. Once, he sent me to the corner store to buy him some 'krumbumboli', a drink that never was, and then scolded me when I returned home empty handed. These were decidely not the best role models.

Being Grandpa, or Opa as I prefer being called, has been a wonderful experience and I am determined to treat my grandchildren with love and respect no matter how young or old they might be. I can only hope that they will treat me the same way but it will be up to them to decide what kind of Opa I was to them. If I can brighten their day, instruct them when it is mine to instruct, give them little surprises now and then, and help them in some way into becoming responsible adults, then I will have succeeded.

I still remember clearly the day my first grandchild, Gabriel, was born. That middle of January day was dark, cold, and rainy. We spent the whole night in the hospital but it was not until late afternoon the next day that Gabriel put in his appearance. I can still see his Papa dressed in a green hospital gown holding his son for the first time. Gabriel was wrapped in yellow and white receiving blankets and wearing a cap that made him look like a tiny smurf. His eyes were dazzled by the bright lights in the recovery room and I am sure he was wondering what happened to him after being in the darkness of the womb for nine months.

What has blessed me in addition to being a grandpa is my son's love for his boys. He always told me when he was growing up that he didn't like children but I put that down to the inexperience of youth. Gabriel, and later his brother Jacob, changed all that!